Grief and Loss Counseling
Below are my general counseling principles for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, or perhaps a major
loss such as a marriage, career, physical abilities, etc.
Everyone grieves differently. It's okay if you take a long time. Or a short time. No one should tell you HOW you should feel.
Telling someone to "just get over it" or "it's about time that you get over it" is usually insensitive and hurtful.
Grieving should not be viewed as a "illness" or "mental disorder," as if it's a condition to be ridden of as soon as possible.
The matter of stages of grief. There seems to be consensus that there are common stages of grief. 1. Denial and isolation,
2. Anger, 3. Bargaining, 4. Depression, 5. Acceptance. (Much can be read about it
Again, your personal experience may differ from these fives stages, and that is okay.
Everyone's needs are different too. Those grieving may need to talk about adjustments they're making (or struggling to make)
with their loss. Sometimes a deceased spouse was in charge of certain household tasks that now
fall into the hands of others. Widows and widowers may need a committed listener to assist them in
fully exploring their feelings of despair and/or loneliness. There also may be tough questions
such as "What should I do with my loved one's clothes and belongings?" and "Should I marry again?"
Photo: A beautiful sunrise over Buena Vista, Colorado.
If you're in a grieving process, I offer you my sympathy. It can be hard. When
my late Father died in 2008,
it took a long time to work through my feelings, and in fact, I am still in a grieving process.
Steve Garufi, Licensed Professional Counselor
Salida Christian Counseling